I took Sunday off......from blogging, that is. You see, when you are a caregiver, you never have time off. Ok, when the person with dementia is sleeping, eating, fixated on a tv show, folding laundry or calm..... you get some respite. Actually, let me re-phrase that..... you get some respite, but your guard is never down.
Unless you have hired help, which I am in the process of getting, you are always on.... 24-7..... at least your guard is.
Lately, Marjorie has taken to opening the front door. Live and learn. Had I known back then, what I know now, I would've put the door to her bedroom closer to the kitchen when we were building this house. Yes, she has taken to opening up the front door. To clarify, I have her room alarmed, meaning that when she opens the door to her room, a chime goes off. I have alarm pads upstairs, in my bedroom, to warn me that she is "on the move". And until this last week or so, Marjorie has been content leaving her room, to discover the inside of the house, never to venture farther than the kitchen. By the time the chime wakes me, and I leap out of my bed, pull some pj bottoms on and get my (really large) butt down those long set of stairs, Marjorie has usually made it to the kitchen. A hard right from her bedroom.
Lately though, she has been taking a hard LEFT to the front door, unlocking and opening it up. She has yet to step outside, but I wonder if she would, if I wasn't there to intervene.
Let's think about the stories we hear on the news. We've all heard them, about elderly people wandering off and going missing. Sometimes it's in the middle of winter, others it's in the summer. Sometimes they are recovered unharmed, other times they perish in the outdoors.... lost forever.
Now I am the first to admit that I would hear these stories, and I would think "gawd... who the HELL let's an elderly person go outside like that, no clothes, especially when they are senile???" Now I understand. You see, Alzheimer's changes a person's brain. When I am cooking something, let's say, in the frying pan, and Marjorie thinks that it's the sound of rain, there is no telling her differently. In her mind, it's rain. You cannot convince her otherwise. When she wants to, or doesn't want to wear a certain outfit, there is no coercing her. When trying to bathe her, she is insistent that she JUST had a shower 20 minutes ago, you cannot change her mind. And when she thinks that she needs to be somewhere, that she has tickets on a plane or a train, you have to go along with it. There is no changing an AD sufferer's mind. So when you hear of an elderly person going missing, they are following their need to be somewhere, on time. They generally don't know where they are going, but they know they have to get there. This is what drives Marjorie to open that front door every nite now. She truly believes she is going somewhere, that she has to be somewhere, at that specific time. What is scary is that it's very cold here right now, and last nite I said "Mum!! it's below freezing out there, and raining!!!!" Marjorie looked at me and said "that is why I am wearing a rain coat!!!" she was wearing her housecoat.
So yes, I do get respite when Marjorie is sleeping..... but I can never truly let my guard down. Sleep with one eye open, senses always on high alert, and the bull horn. Oh, did I forget to tell you about the bull horn?
Yes, well, we all have one. Every house with an alarm does. So if I miss that 10 second window that I have to punch my code in, the bull horn goes off. It's a loud, obnoxious sound that would literally wake the dead. Unless you are a husband or child of mine. Yes... amidst my story of Marjorie and her soulful wandering, I forgot to mention that none of my other family members.... not one... not even Ozzie, my faithful guard dog, not one of them wakes up to the bull horn. The next morning they look at me like I'm crazy, when I ask them if they heard the bull horn. Nope... not one of them. Slept like babies.
And people wonder why I don't let the kids, or my hubby step in and watch Mum..... even for an hour or so...... why? Because of the bull horn... that's why.
peace out.
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