An obstacle course.

Day #5 of my holiday.  I'll admit, I am missing my Mum.  Started yesterday...walking past her room, completely empty.  Now, I know that I sound hypocritical when I say that I miss her, but I really do.  This is why a respite holiday is so important for a caregiver.  It gives us a well-deserved and needed break, and refreshes our outlook.  When I pick Mum up, I will be happy to see her.  That will last ..... I can't predict how long it will be until the tasks morph into one entire dreaded day, but it will happen.   It always does, and then I will take a break again.
We leave for Florida on Jan 30th/11.   That is my next scheduled break.  But until then, I will enjoy this one.   Yes, I am back in my cave.  Unfortunately, they are finishing the brick on the house next door and there is a generator running.  It's an annoying noise.  There are also saw-cutters running, to cut the brick, combined it makes for a very noisy area, not one condusive with resting.   I will put my headphones on, block out the noise and relax.  By 10:30, I should have managed to filter all the sound into background or white noise.  :)
I have a question:   I am wondering if Mum's dementia makes people uncomfortable?  As in "uncomfortable speaking with her"?   The reason I ask, is that certain family members, and certain friends have completely cut her off.  No calls, no contact, no communication.  I find this hard to understand, and hard to swallow.  It might be different for me, as I am in the midst of it everyday, and cannot fathom cutting Mum off....especially at a time like this, when she is so fragile.  But yes, there are people who were very close with Mum, who have just dropped off the face of the earth, never to phone, write or initiate any kind of contact with her again.  It is much easier for me to believe that the dementia makes them uncomfortable.  After all, she can be hard to understand, hard to deal with in terms of the repetitiveness, and I am led to believe that causes discomfort for them.   Also, in terms of her friends, maybe they don't like to see another example of old age staring them in the face?   To watch a once vital, vibrant friend that they used to share laughs, wine and secrets with, suddenly dissapear into a void of dementia blankness?
These explanations make me feel less angry at them, for their lack of concern and effort towards Mum.  At least they do for a minute.  Then I just realise that even if fear, ignorance and turning a blind eye are factors, any decent human being would overcome these obstacles to initiate contact with Mum.  Especially knowing the role that she once played in each of their lives.   Hello?  Marjorie is still here.  You should pick up the phone every once and a while.   Why not try jumping the obstacle instead of hiding behind it?

peace out.