To believe, or not to believe.... that is today's question.

 
Meg left yesterday.  We had a great week.  Well, at least I did.   She's a great kid, as I said last time, but somewhere along the lines of this week, I seemed to forget that she is only 21... and that I'm 42.  I kept pace with her, in what I thought was a pretty good clip, but I have to admit, Sunday I was close to death.  Tired, hungover, and just plain burnt out from our visit.    That's why I never posted any new entries over the weekend... because I had only enough brain cells functioning to get me through the basic tasks of the day... like waking up, sitting on the couch and operating the remote control.  

So here we are, and it's Tuesday now.  To believe or not to believe.  I'll let you be the judge.
I took Marjorie to her day program.   I'm feeling like today's situation was a result of two possibly different scenarios.  The first one, being an "ironic" outcome.   As I picked her up, I was gently pulled aside by one of the coordinators and "informed" that Marjorie was not smelling very pretty today.  More than one of the volunteers had made comments to her in regards to the way she was smelling, and that she had most likely had an accident.    This morning, I made sure to equip her for her day out.  Mum is still quite conscious of the way she appears (most days), to other people, but I do admit that equipping her with incontinence products is quite difficult.   So we left the house today, fresh as a daisy, and looking forward to her day program.   That itself, had me on high alert.  Marjorie NEVER looks forward to her day program.   This is where the ironic part comes into play.  Marjorie has hated this program for three, long years.   Earlier on, when she had more mental capabilities, she made note of the program on her calendar, and as the day rolled around, she just refused to attend.   Many times, I resorted to lying about our destination.  Once we pulled into the parking lot, I'd have many different reactions, some angry, some sad, illness' would appear, arguing ensued and it was an all-around unpleasant experience.   :Lately, however, she has been much less opposed to the day program, with less arguing, less resistance and actually saying that she has enjoyed her day when I pick her up.   Ironic, isn't it, that I finally get her to this point, and she is now on the brink of being expelled due to her incontinence.
My second theory, is that I'm full of shit, or that she is. (not literally... don't think I'm making a funny on the whole incontinence issue).   That she hasn't warmed up to the program at all, but rather she's found the ultimate out.   Realized that there are rules and regulations in order for her to qualify for this......a large one being that the attendees must be fully capable of caring for themselves for that four hours, in terms of bathroom breaks.  And that all this sudden "calmness" surrounding the day program is actually a big act, and Marjorie realizes that it's only a matter of time before they kick her out.  Fill the depends, create a distinct smell of urine and/or feces,  and you receive a "get out of jail free" card..... no questions asked. 
This is a tough one, because if I try to bring up the fact that she may be having accidents, Marjorie denies there is any problem.  Should I point out the fact that she now wears "protection", she insists that it is her time of the month and that all women HAVE to wear these feminine hygiene products.    I guess it would be human nature to deny the fact that you have lost control of your bodily functions..... I know I probably would.   If I don't try to talk to her, I risk her being let go from the program, which ultimately, has been Marjorie's goal all along.  If I explain to her the reasons WHY she will be let go from the program, a small part of me believes that she will utilize this to her advantage, and ultimately will get what she has wanted all along... no never return to the program in the first place.
So there we have it, my quandary for the day.  Now while most people would look at this and think that I am so far off base, that it has nothing to do with Marjorie being sneaky or conniving...that I'm crazy to think an 80 yr old woman with dementia could possibly engineer this whole scenario and that it's nothing more than her age, combined with her disease, and the HUGE fact that she is slowly losing control of her bodily functions.... I have to say I am leaning towards the engineering and execution of the perfect plan.  Marjorie, I'm onto you, and honestly?  Quite thoroughly impressed with this ingenious plan of yours.   Cudos to you Mum.......
I am a believer.
:)