Friday, October 15, 2010

Something wicked this way comes.......

Good Morning:

Today, I would like to rant.  Rant about the system.  The health care system, the services they have in place for the elderly, especially those with dementia.  These are best-described as a huge oxymoron.   Like "jumbo-shrimp"  
Yesterday I was visited by a social worker that covers my Mum's home care case.  The reason for her visit was to discuss the latest changes in "long-term care"  She informed me that with the changes, that the waiting time for Mum to get INTO a long term care facility had drastically changed.   Prior to these changes, Mum was going to have to wait up to 5 years for a bed in a long-term care facility.  This suited our situation, because I do not believe that Mum belongs in one of these facilities....at least not yet.  We were quite happy to have her on the "back burner" of the waiting list, with a sort of "wait and see" attitude as to whether or not the day would come that I would feel the need to place her in one.  
This is no longer the case.   I was explained to  yesterday, that with these changes, Mum is now eligible for a room almost any day now.   Meaning that we could receive a call any day and she would be offered a room.
I took a few minutes to digest this information, and then asked the question:  "what if we are not ready to place her in a long-term care facility?"......  and the reply was not what I wanted to hear.   Should we be offered a bed, and refused it, our file would be closed for a minimum period of three months, and then re-opened only to have her placed farther back on the waiting list.   In a nutshell, we would be penalized for trying to maintain Mum's care at on our own, in a home setting.
I am no where near ready to place my Mum in a home.  I don't think she needs nor deserves to be shipped off to an institution.  I also believe that there are many others out there that desperately need a bed in one of these facilities.  I say this because my own father died waiting for a bed.  He was on the emergency crucial list, and he still didn't get a bed in time.  Mum is happy, healthy and comfy here at home with us.   She displays little to no aggression/anger (yet), so I feel that I can still manage her care for quite some time.
What pissed me off about yesterday's meeting, is that I felt there were holding a gun to my head to make a decision.   Either put her away, or remove her from the waiting list, hence removing any chances of her getting into a home should we need that facility.   At the best of times, I do not like being "Bullied into decisions".... so yesterday, when I removed her from the waiting list, and ultimately any immediate chances of her getting a placement, I felt cheated, angry and cornered.
Also, you would think that when someone, such as me, removes her elderly mother from the waiting list, and ultimately from the long-term care system, that they would offer additional support in the home, where the care is taking place.   By doing this, I just removed  a small percentage of the burden of elder-care in the system... right?   So you would assume they would offer a small amount of help to compensate.  Not the case.   Not the case at all.
So here's to all my kindred caregivers, most of you whom are spouses and not children.  I feel for you.
option 1: turf your loved one into a home.   Option 2: remove from the list and hang in limbo wondering if you'll ever have the opportunity to place them in long-term care, once the need really arises.

I'm sure there is more to it than what I included in my little rant, but that is how I am feeling today. 

Mum has had a tough day today.  Her agitation is at an all time high, and she is just circling the kitchen/family room touching and re-arranging things all over the place.   So that ends today's boring and negative entry.
Enjoy your weekend all.
:)

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